?

Log in

_>Ange's Journal<_ [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
forgive_durden7

[ website | myspace ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2006|06:34 pm]
forgive_durden7
[mood |determineddetermined]

sooo today i went to the thanksgiving thing at the fire dept. place tht my uncle rented out...kinda weird tht zack dyer was there, but idk thre was this whole side of the family there tht im just related to through marriage..
so tomm i think i might juss live off coffe or sumthin, i have to get up at 4 so i can go christmas shopping w/ my mom and grandmother...the stores open @ like 5 lol
nd ihave like wayyyy 2 much h.w...:-( i have to read 100 pages for english and write a page essayy...

buttt good news is that i have the try out dance down for cheering, and im going to continue practicing for tryouts on monday! im so excited for the season, and its a win win situation cuz w/e team i make im still going to competitions...which is awesome!

band practice this sat...hopefuly im awake enough lol

then on sunday im going shopping w/ ashlee...CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!i <3 christmas shopping it rocks

nd i love christmas...its my fav holiday besides the getting fat part cuz ppl shove food in ur face

newayyyy im gonna go practice my routine more...
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Nov. 19th, 2006|07:53 pm]
forgive_durden7
I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.I Love God.

Just thought I'd say that :-)
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Nov. 19th, 2006|04:48 pm]
forgive_durden7
[mood |lonelylonely]

UGH!!!
i hate this!!!
I Love Mike!!
thats right, i just said it..
he has no idea, that i love him and i've never stopped loving him
im just so tired of this
he likes so many girls,
and even though wer not dating, im so commited
ive never liked anyone besides josh ever since
me and mike have broke up,
and i ended up not liking josh after like 3 days

this is so hard,
especially beings mike likes all of these pretty girls
that are skinny, and beautiful
unlike me who is fat and ugly!!!
if he didnt like girls that were so pretty
this would be so much easier
i wouldnt feel so bad
but no
im just stuck here
in a state of lonliness
with no one to talk to
EXCEPT MY FRIGGIN LIVE JOURNAL!!!!!!!!!!
linkpost comment

Loved by no one but God right now [Nov. 19th, 2006|04:37 pm]
forgive_durden7
[mood |lonelylonely]
[music |chasing cars--snow patrol]

I hate this
I hate the feeling that I have right now
I feel sooo extremely lonely..
its a feeling that i get often, and i can't stand it
my dad was supposed to call me a week ago but he never did,
I have no idea where he is right now

my mother, she's where she always is
at her boyfreinds
doing what she normally does
drinking probably
i hate to say this,
but at times like these i'm convinced my parents dont love me
but i could understand
i mean i was a mistake in the first place....

And the guy that I've liked for 5 months now doesnt like me
he likes a different girl
that's skinnier
and prettier than me...
just like any other girl in this world

and i didnt even make my cal goal i had today
i had to of ate at least 900 or 1000 cals
thats disgusting!!it makes me want to puke just thinking of it
im so grose!!!

The only positive thing i can think of right now
would be God...im so thankful and lucky to have him
in my life
and 2 all of u ppl tht think im some Jesus freak
well,
go ahead and think that!
BECAUSE YOUR RIGHT
I AM A JESUS FREAK!!
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 20th, 2006|08:49 am]
forgive_durden7
sooo today is my birthday, ive been waiting a very long time to turn 15 so i can take driver's ed!lol i can already tell this bday is gonna b a hell of a lot better then last year...cuz my mom is actually coming home instead of staying w/ kirt..i mean how hard is it to spend 1 day a year w/ ur daughter? newayy its kinda funny, cuz its my bday yet i have to give carrie her present today lol and i also have band practice, i hope i can get my guitar all tuned up juss right b4 i go..but newway i think ima go finish watching the other half of titanic (very very sad movie) makes me cry every time :-(
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2006|05:40 am]
forgive_durden7
Why can't you see the pain
I'm feeling inside:
I know that it shows
through my pride
Just look into my eyes and you'll
see the tears
brought on by pain
held close for years
I know, I pretend
that nothing's wrong
I try very hard to appear to be strong
please look behind the mask
I wear
I am so desperate
for someone to care
linkpost comment

..... [Aug. 11th, 2006|03:45 pm]
forgive_durden7
[Tags|]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |here in your arms--hellogoodbye]

so i just got back from a pretty long run, im tired nd sweaty now but i feel good @ the same time....i still need to finish writing that letter back to my dad, speaking of him he's called twice in the past few days so i take it he's realy trying to get intouch with me...i dont want to talk to him on the phone though, because its wayy 2 stressful.

so i found out yesterday, that once i get my driver's license were most likely moving to kirts and putting an addition on 2 his house...the 40 min. drive to school evrymorn is gonna suck, but @ least ill still get 2 see all of my freinds nd stuff...plus ill get to move out of my trailer and live in a house :-), nd there is a public beach and beaver brooke right down the road so thts kinda kewl 2.

i think as soon as i get some of my energy back im gonna either workout or go on the stair-climber machine thingy nd get some more excersize....maybe I'll do both?
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2006|08:23 am]
forgive_durden7
so my dad sent me a letter in the mail yesterday, its so fucking hard. I want to believe everything that he says but its so hard, because he lies to me way too much. The letter made me cry, even though i wasn't sure if it was true or not. i knew that he was in jail, but i had no idea that he was in auburn (kinda close :-/) but ig its partially good that he's in jail b/c i know he was sober when he wrote the letter. he also tried calling me a few weeks ago, but i didn't take the call b/c its to hard to talk to him on the phone, he always pressures me. ig thats why im such a week person, giving into ppl pressuring me when it comes to drugs or w/e b/c my dad has always been there, pressuring me to go against my mom, and against my family...and also i think the reason why i have such a heavy concious and feel guilty easily is b/c of him..cuz hed always make me feel bad so id give in to him, hed even manage to shed some tears now and then...

i haven't even talked to my dad's side of the family, i dont know them very well...and its kind of his fault because he was always caught up in living by himself and drinking. I never got the chance to hang out w/ his side of the family often b/c he was always doing other stuff :-(
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2006|08:18 am]
forgive_durden7
"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Jul. 24th, 2006|06:06 pm]
forgive_durden7
[mood |uncomfortableuncomfortable]
[music |inside of you--hoobastank (<3 tht song)]

hmmm lets see..this morning i went to o.o.b w/ my aunt,mom,jerek my cousin, nd my bro adam...it was great cuz im gettin alot tanner now, nd i used to glow in the dark (or so my freinds said) me nd my mom got into another fight like usual..nd go figure she made me feel like the shittiest person on earth but then again maybe i am...
it all started when she asked me wht i wanted for my birthday, and i said drivers ed..nd shes like "oh" but then 2 seconds later shes like oh well i didnt get my liscence until i was 17 nd i dont wanna pay for it blah blah blah..you make me feel like such a bad person cuz u ask me for things i cant do blah blah u make me feel so guilty blah blah u dont respect anything i do for you...
and i was like bull fucking shit...you got ur liscence at fucking 15 and back then you could have a fucking job at 14 so maybe if i was old enough to fucking have a job then id fucking have one!!!ugh pisses me the fuck off shes such a hypocrit, cuz she said how i make her feel guilty cuz i ask her for things she cant do...but she expects me to get a job and pay for my own drivers ed at fucking 14 years old..ya fuckin right!!!
but there is at least 2 good things again in my life: 1- my dads in jail for 5 years so i wont have to see him for 5 years, maybe even longer b/c by then id b out of highschool nd maybe have my own place so he wouldnt know where i lived so he couldnt get ahold of me!sweetness.......nd 2- mike decided to choose me over me nd erin...i love him way to much to give him up although idid for a while nd it seemed like my life was going to end just cuz everything was going wrong...literaly evrything lol but neway me nd mike are dating again..back on the same road nd hopefully this relationship will take us someplace better nd hopefully we can use this second chance to fix all of our mistakes
but wht really sucks is tht beth hates mike, so that makes evrything completely worse...cuz she has her ways of burrying her head in my shit
linkpost comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]